Hey there everyone!~
Today, I am going off topic here from crafts and diy specials.
I am pondering some thoughts, that I want to share.
Sometimes I ponder the thoughts of having daughters in today’s day and age.
To be honest, I think to myself,
thank you Dear God, for NOT giving me girls.
Don’t get me wrong, I would have been just as happy given any gift of life.
Healthy at the time was my biggest concern.
But, I tell you, both times, both sonograms, I went out of the Dr’s office skipping!
I truly do believe I was meant to be a Mom of boys, and I never once thought, hey we need to try for that little girl.
I often wonder to myself why do I feel that way?
I mean, I love girlie girl stuff…makeup, fashion, shopping, all that fun stuff that my BOYS soooooooo do not care about.
They like dressing nice, but that is about as far as it goes.
Don’t even mention going to the mall.
I think girls are harder in general.
I’m just going to say it, and hope I do not offend anyone, but let’s face it, a lot of girls today are high maintenance.
They can be
Moody,
{so can boys, don’t get me wrong}
more expensive,
and I think overall more to worry about raising right.
Now you do realize the Good Lord is going to give me all granddaughters someday…right?
Moving on….
Don’t start stoning me friends.
I know many of you have fabulous daughters, and that is because you are fabulous Mothers!~
Perhaps, it is because of my childhood memories
and things I did .
remember,me, the rebel:)
Prom is coming up here next week, and I do have some friends with daughters.
Sounds so fun to go shopping for dresses, doing your hair, taking all the pics and just overall a thrilling moment for a girl.
All my boys will have to do is throw on a tux,
bring a boutonniere and smile.
I think in today’s generation it is even harder to be a young girl, opposed to when I was a teenager.
Weight, anorexia, bulimia..
never even heard of it back then.
Well of course, I only heard about Karen Carpenter, who I adored her singing voice, and always felt a sense of sadness that she left us too early.
The other day, there was a picture on facebook, that I stared at
for longer than normal.
I mean, I stared at it, I looked her up and down and all around.
I could not see her face, but I knew she was pretty, her face was pretty…
however, her
body
looked ill to me.
Her
bones were protruding.
Ironically, this is from a pin on pinterest for Health and fitness I believe.
and along with it is a body cleanse formula
Honey and cinnamon cleanse every morning, on an empty stomach, half an hour before breakfast, and again at night before sleeping. Drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup water. If taken regularly it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also drinking of this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body, even though the person may eat a high calorie diet. 2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon and 2 teaspoons of honey in a cup of boiled water.
Now, I don’t want to pass judgement, nor bash this beautiful young woman.
That is not my point…
my point is
Some young girls, want to look just like her.
and realistically, most do not.
and that is a good thing!
So exactly what message is this photo sending?
To be Healthy?
or to be just this thin?
That pin, lead me to the above site,
that had this graph
What does a young woman’s impressionable mind take from this?
And those are things that make me ponder, and happy, that
I don’t have a young impressionable daughter today.
It’s sad, very sad!
Free printable
This is great for a Mom, or daughter..
Mother’s hug your daughters, and let them know they are beautiful just the way they are.
Daughters, hug your Mom’s and tell them thanks!
XO
Tell me, if you have daughters in today’s generation, how do you handle this?
I too loved Karen Carpenter and she was so pretty before all that started.
It is amazing these days that “character, values, kindness, do-unto-others” doesn’t seem to be the focus…it’s looks. Sad. Outward beauty without a beautiful soul…not so pretty.
Beautiful post Debbie!
Blessings,
Cindy
Very well said and right on the mark. I have 2 daughters, each their own perfect individual persons. We have run the gambit of “I’m fat” to “If they don’t like it let them suck eggs” when it comes to personal appearance. I do believe girls are harder to raise. Today’s media, whether magazines, internet or TV makes an already hard job impossible at times. We just decided when our girls were young that we had rules and they would be followed and it has been the best thing for us. Everything from dating, make-up, grades, activities and sleepovers we discussed. Wrote our mutually decided rules out and used them with both our girls. We now have a 21 yo in who will be starting her final year in college this fall and has worked to pay for 95% OOP. Our soon to be 16 yo participates in all kinds of clubs and activities in HS, loving to volunteer and serve our community. It’s hard work raising children, but well worth it if you take control and responsibility as Parents, and not try to be their “Friends”!
Cheers to you MOM!~ Awesome job, and yes a job well worth it. I am certainly NOT my boys friend…in fact, I can be their own worst enemy at times LOL.
I posted that photo on facebook because it is just sending the wrong message to all females and it upsets me. Yes, I ‘m sure she is beautiful and obsessed with being thin. I do have a daughter who is 32 and has always been thin without dieting, lucky her she did not take after me. She is only 5’1″ and wears a size 0 or 2 and always has. No bones protruding though. When I clicked on that photo and saw all the rest that went with it I just felt so sorry for this person thinking that skeletal thin is the right way to look. She would look so much better with just ten pounds more.
I agree Kim…thanks for sharing..it was disturbing to me indeed too.
This is very well said, Debbie and it is tough having daughters today. I don’t know any different because I don’t have boys. The prom stuff is fun(and stressful!!) but a lot of it isn’t. I don’t discuss weight with my girls, just provide healthy and some not so healthy choices for them and let them listen to their bodies. I don’t want them having hang ups. Luckily they are both healthy eaters and exercisers..hope it continues! It is harder being a girl these days, I agree. It’s not easy being a boy either I’m sure!! I bet you will have granddaughters !! My MIL has 4 boys and now has 7 granddaughters! She loves it!
Your right Heather, I know that is what will happen and of course I will embrace and love it. Hopefully the next generation will not be faced with all these obstacles and trials of being a young lady today. Your doing a fantastic job Heather!
Having three daughters, all young adults now, I can say that I got lucky. Only one of the three ever questioned her appearance in a typical teenager fashion. With any similar issue, we always made it a point to not beat around the bush and sugarcoat or be too nice when we needed to knock some sense into them. I never wanted to respond in a way that would trigger more comments from them as simple attention-getters. If I ever heard “I need to lose weight,” I would just give a stern come-to-Jesus response to shut them down. I wanted them to know that I would be honest with them no matter what so that they could believe me when I told them i thought they were perfect. I admit though, all three of them were tremendous athletes so they were fit and healthy by their own doing so perhaps I had it easy. As any biased mother would say, I think my daughters are beautiful and I thank God we all got through their teenage years pretty much unscathed. Now I have the little guy going into middle school so I’ll be starting all over with the teenage stuff soon. My mom always said that girls were easy until their teens while boys were a handful but boys were a piece of cake as teenagers so parents could put all of their energy dealing with their teenage drama queens. 🙂 Great post – I would never want my daughters to EVER think that picture is a healthy look to obtain. Naturally thin with a small frame is one thing but to purposely try to
Shari, you are a fantastic Mom and an awesome inspiration. Your girls are the lucky ones:)!~ Whew, not easy is right. Thanks for inspiring.
I agree with you Debbie, it seems like all you ever see on tv and hear about is dieting and exercise that you have to be thin. I was thin when I was younger but in my mid teens I became ill and gained weight and I have never been able to get rid of the weight, although I have gone to exercise classes and have been put on diets. To me it’s who you are and how you treat others that is the most important.
That’s right Carla…seems to be lost sometimes with all the distraction of being and looking a certain way.
Very thought provoking post Debbie. Being a Mom of both girls, and one boy, I can say that boys are much easier!! UNTIL they reach about 18!!! Ugh! But I have felt blessed to have both, and experience both.
XO Kris
I have a teenage daughter and from the time she was born have taken on the worry of raising a girl…. hoping and praying she doesn’t go down the wrong path…follow in my footsteps that way. The idea of her going out on a date scares me to death. SO much to worry about there. My daughter and I love fashion, makeup, hair styling, all that good girly stuff, but since she was small I’ve wanted her to know that she’s beautiful no matter what. Girls are SO impressionable..When I was trying to lose the baby weight, she was aware of it. So, then she decided she needed to lose weight…she was just a preschooler. From that moment on, I made a conscious decision to never show dissatisfaction with my own body. And lucky for her, her Dad fills up her cup by remembering to tell her she is pretty, showing affection, taking her on dates…. Thank you for this message today, Debbie. Just the other day, I was thinking about this boy mom vs. girl mom subject and wondering how I ended up a girl mom. And you btw, are a fantastic Mom!
We get what we are suppose to Sharon…and you obviously are doing fantastic job with your daughter. Ya know, I think boys could be aware of the weight thing too, obviously not as affected like girls. However, my boys have heard me say, I need a diet, and on occasion I have heard them ask Mom you still on a diet. They should not give a care about my dieting LOL. But they are aware is my point.
Neither money, thin-ness, or beauty are anything without happiness.
Bliss
Cheers!
well being your Mom i was never sorry i had 2 girls it was not an easy feat to get through the teen years .But you grew up to be an awsom wife and Mother.And that is all that matters.Being raised with a Mom that favored boys was not fun .its funny because she always said a son is a son till he takes a wife but a Daughter is a Daughter for the rest of your life .so true what son would come once a week to visit and stay to have a pj party .Even when she got married i love haveing you girls in my life
That is so true Mom…I don’t see Alex but maybe Jack having a PJ sleepover:) At least I had two boys, so there is no favoritism LOL! They don’t know any different. I would hope I wouldn’t be like that, but we never will know:)
Hi Debbie Dear! For a moment I thought you were going to tell us you were pregnant! 🙂 Shut my mouth! Having a son and a daughter, you’re right, girls are a little more demanding! 🙂
I saw this same snap of this young woman and it almost broke my heart to see her. I’m sure see thinks she looks wonderful but she is too skinny and does look ill. This just sends the wrong image to our young ladies.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia 😉
Debbie, I too love that I have a boy, not as moody, periods, pregnancy etc. etc. I just don’t think I would have done well! And the big bonus is I don’t worry about my boy, if I had a girl I would worry all the time!!! And you are right, so much pressure to be perfect. Boys, they kind of have the take me or leave me mentality. you know what I did, when my sons prom came up he had a girl that was a friend that wanted to go, but could not afford a dress and here parents would not help, so I took her prom dress shopping, soooo fun!!! Somewhere in these high school years have your boys find someone that can’t afford a dress and take her shopping, it was an experience I will always treasure!
Carol
Now, that I would gladly do..I know that would be so much fun Carol!~ Thanks for sharing your point of view too.
A beautiful post Debbie, from the heart. I always wanted a boy and a girl but quickly realized a child is a blessing and the sex does not matter. When we had our third boy it was almost a sigh of relief…ahhhh…think of all the money we will save 🙂 Three of our closest friends all have girls, they are like my own and I hope one day when they are not comfortable going to mom and dad they can come to me 🙂
XOXO
Kristin
I am betting they will…always easier than going to MOM:) Like I said too…a gift of life is a blessing itself..but I think there is a reason I was given the blessings of boys. I would be broke, and bald by now LOL!
Well, this certainly hit home for me today! I have a boy and a girl and my precious baby girl (24 yrs old) is home with me this week. She said to me today, ‘I think I’ll go on Weight Watchers’. I don’t have anything against Weight Watchers but I felt I needed to reinforce to her that she is beautiful just the way she is! Debbie, without even knowing it…..you touched us today! She and I just read your post together! A very ‘together’ moment! Thank you!!! You touched us deeply!!! On another note, I must admit, I have a son who is 26 yrs. old and he was much (and still is) easier! But I wouldn’t change a thing!! I feel very blessed to experience both! Thank you, dear friend for a truly meaningful post!~~Angela
You gave me a chuckle…I know your daughter laughed too, thinking uhhh huhhh…this is true Mom!~ I am so glad you and her read this together. She is beautiful, and so are you!
I just typed a novel and deleted it.
I’ll just cut to the chase and say that I agree with you and was horrified at that picture too. I have tried really hard to raise two daughters with a healthy body image. They both run so stay slender, but neither is the type to look like that picture (or want to look like it. )
I’ll also say a big THANK YOU as a mother of girls to you as a mother of boys. It’s hard to raise boys to look beyond the plastic Barbie picture to the person inside. It’s encouraging to know that some of you feel that way and are doing so.
Back to add:
Not dissing Barbie,..
I’m a Barbie lover from way back.
I mean wayyyyyyyy back.
Oh I love Barbie too, had every single doll of hers. I can honestly say though, it was her fashion I liked, and not her body LOL!~ oh and I loved her long hair. Debbie, you obviously have done an amazing job. I can tell you for sure, either one of my boys would want a girl to be obsessed with their weight. We like to EAT too much in this house.
Deb…You have no idea what i am going through with my beautiful baby girl…well not so much now.. she just turned an adult..but we are working through so much at this point that this cruel …cruel world has to offer teenage girls these days…and the harsh effects is causes on girls..things are so different in today’s society…but thank god she has a mom like me to help her through the harsh effects …and you are so right…she is beautiful the way she is …i am just glad she hasn’t turned to the issues you address here…and if there is a mom out there going through this ..then believe me i understand completely..as i have faced so much the last year and trying to keep my babies head lifted daily..prom is next weekend for my girl..and then graduation …i am so glad i have my baby today and that she can actually lift her self from the traggic reality of todays world…Moms Stay Strong For Your Girls !! I Did And I Still Have My Baby Today…
Oh my goodness girl, thanks for sharing your heartfelt feelings on this. I know it is hard, well I can imagine, that is why I posted this. It just hurts my heart to see some young girls today and all their struggles. I am glad she has you to Sabri! Hang tight, it will get better. XO
Debbie, I would not want to raise kids in this generation for so many reasons. I think thre is way TOO MUCH pressure to fit in, more that my generation dealt with ( graduated in ’74). I had a boy & a girl. There were trying times with both, but agree there was definitely more challenges w/a girl. I would like to think as parents we did a pretty good job. I am proud of both my kids & their accomplishments. Unfortunately, there are no hugs from my daughter. Her dad & I divorced when they finished high school, she was 18. She moved out of my home on Mother’s Day & did not spek to me for almost 2 yrs. I was not “welcome” to spend her wedding day with her. I actually felt unwelcome period. That has been 10 yrs this August. We still are “at odds” despite my attempts to resolve our differences. She made it clear we will never have the relationship that I hope for. She has 3 children who I see but not as much as I would like, don’t get to be part of their activities. I will always love my kids, but some hurts just don’t go away. Girls can hold their patents to unrealistic expectations.
Whew..Linda that is a tough pill to swallow. I say never give up trying..someday, things will work out. Never give up hope. I think kids in general can hold their parents to unrealistic expectations. Girls tend to hold grudges, that is our problem, boys are passive and belly up to the bar the next second. Gosh, I sure hope someday you can both look back and just say, what were we thinking? Life is way too short. I say give her a virtual hug, send her a Mothers day card, yes, let her know she is a good Mom and you love her:)
Oh Debbie You hit the nail on the head perfectly. I have one son and one daughter. It always seems my daughter needs me more wants more asks for more than my son. I don’t want to be remembered for How much I do for her and allot 2 cars 2 house full of furniture ,jewelry Oh My Gosh and her favorite are Emeralds do you know hoe expensive it is to get good emeralds. She gets combative with me . Only now I was expecting it at her teens, And she has broken My Heart. Never the less I Love her with All my Heart . I have 5 Blog posts to do and she is dropping the kids off later to go out to dinner!! My Son You know what he asks for Coffee That’s it Coffee lol Debbie You got it Right!! I just had the Lilla Rose Party and she asked what are you getting for my Granddaughter now she bought but expects me too off course I will But I have long thick hair and these work great on me lol Son’s are Much easier. But Daughter’s seem to butt heads with you for domination and they seem to take on your personality. Thank You for Writing about this. I wait for more topics we can just tell the truth xoxox Lisa
LOL…that is funny Lisa, daughters are butt heads. I do call my boys butt heads too sometimes. We love our children no matter what though. But see, girls are much more expensive..emeralds, GADS!
Emerald .diamonds rubies, sapphires, so much more champagne diamonds . black diamonds, Oh Daddy I need Some of Each But her favorite being Emerald
Last year she get over a carat chocolate diamond necklace with clear bright white diamonds surrounding it and an 18kt white gold chain for her Birthday!! This year I got her a Brighton pocketbook and some Brighton jewelry she wanted That’s it!!. She has put in requests for Mother’s day but I think We will just Go to Brunch Oh and I’ll bring back my Son a Cup of Coffee . lol …She is killing me I wouldn’t have to talk about exp: how to make a toothpick holder for your NutraSweet. Oh Go ahead I double dare You Debbie Please make the cutest little holder anyone has seen.!! Maybe a napkin holder out of Popsicle sticks? Remember those days lol She is killing . Last night She dropped all three of because she was going to dinner. And guess who the Terror was Yes that’s right My Granddaughter Janie!!!!
So What do I say after You got me started again , I say I have to finish a Post I’m working She says your always working and never paid much so who cares You can watch the kids and I said but I really need to finish and She said I’ll drop them off at 5:00 See how it Goes lol I will take Mom can you put on anther pot of coffee any day Oh and He makes Me Coffee He learned real quick how to make it on the Gas Stove > Is He awake I need some Coffee. But wait also to We are like Scientists with our Coffee I have no flavored creamer, it has to be super hot cooked for a certain amount of time , some sugar, my good vanilla you know the kind from Madagascar that at least cost me $!3.99 then powdered creamer this allows the coffee to stay hot and simulate that coffee creamer I didn’t pick up at the store, Cardomin that also is $13.99 just a little mixed with the sugar,powdered coffee creamer,vanilla Now the Coffee is done mixing it with probably drool coming from my mouth no allot of time foam cause when i’m pissed a pot goes on. Then a sprinkle of Organic Cinnamon $8.99. I wonder how much that Coffee is costing me? I don’t Care If The Boy wants Coffee That’s what the Boy gets!! lol you fire me up hahaha lol OH and have a Blessed Day Lisa
Oh Lisa, you got me reading this first thing in the morning with my cup of coffee that I almost spit out LOL!~ Hey don’t laugh I once made a Popsicle stick pencil holder for my boys desk and they loved it HA! Hey and you tell your daughter we work hard at this gig, regardless of the pay, it is what we love to do. When you find something we love, we are passionate about it..so you tell her I said so LOL!~ You have a blessed day Lisa and enjoy that cup of coffee with your boy. P.S. A brighton handbag and Brighton bling is still an awesome gift! Have a great day girl!
Thanks deb….The truth is …words do bring girls down these days…and when your bullied for so many years …other things kick in like depression and other serious issues but she is staying strong with my guidance …and support from theraphy..in fact i thought of writing about our struggles in my blog …but it might be to severe for readers..things are getting better…but truth is you really never know what lies behind teenage girls eyes these days…things are so different from when we grew up….I have really enjoyed this post and you did not stir wrong by breaking away from your crafts..thanks for sharing….and i hope every teenage girl can survive there struggles in today’s world and not call it quits…thanks again for a fabulous post…xoxo
P.s..Yes she is exspensive …especailly during this prom thing…lol….dinner and limo…and dress and shoes and purse and jewelry and hair assesories and more….GEESH !!
I love this post so much. Where do I start? OK first, Abby pinned that same awful photograph and I texted her immediately and demanded to know what she was thinking! Thankfully she really just thought the cleanse sounded good but agreed that the girl does NOT look healthy. Keep in mind that Abby is not a thin little chick, she’s 5’4″ and pushing 160, after her freshman 15. She’s athletic and eats healthy, but doesn’t freak out about a little cellulite, thank the Lord. And I hadn’t seen that chart, but it’s disturbing. That girl needs help. The next thing you said, is that is really is so much about the parents. I know this is not always true too, though. Abby always was and continues to be a total joy to us, but we were pretty strict parents. We let her be herself but the rules were the rules, and she knew what was expected of her. I told her from the time she was little that I would never take any attitude and believe me, I never got any. Last, I love those lyrics so much, Abby danced her competition solo to that song in fifth grade, in rebellion to a school bully. You are a great boy mom, but you would have been a fabulous girl mom, too 🙂
xoxo, Andrea
p.s. Tell these girls that they have great dresses and shoes at ROSS!! Abby got invited to three homecoming dances one year, and we got three different dresses, shoes, and undergarments all for $160.
Andrea, Abby sounds awesome! Simply awesome. And yes, that is due to her parenting, for sure. You have to be strict these days. I know the stuff my teenager is open with me about and I am thankful for that. Gives us opps to discuss and learn from. I hear Ross is awesome for dresses.
WOW, THIS IS STRAIGHT TO THE POINT! I pray that it gets to the right eyes and ears.
Love you Debbie, Ginger
Great post, Debbie. As a Mom of three boys I DID wish for a while that I would have a daughter. Just to have that Mother /Daughter thing, I guess. I got over it. 🙂 I had run across that pic on Pinterest or somewhere before and I remember thinking the same thing… too thin. Unhealthy. Glad you posted about it. You never know who’s life you will touch.
xoxo, Claire